Living Single at 30

Single at 30

Let's face it. There are plenty of women like myself who are 30 or over and  have yet to find true love. It's not that we haven't tried or had a few that made us feel like we may be close but somehow it has failed to materialize into a meaningful and fully commited relationship. Sometimes the realization that our friends and loved ones have been fortunate to find love and we have not triggers momentary envy or sadness. Instead of focusing on what we don't have I find that relishing on the positives of single life is much more exciting and fulfilling.

Not every woman dreams of the perfect wedding or even being married. This misconception is still embedded in society's ideals about women particularly in our older generations who view older single women as less attractive somehow. Single ladies like myself debunk those archaic notions by living life to the fullest and embracing the freedom that being uncommitted allows.


This is the perfect time to date and really analyze what it is you want out of a significant other. The better we know ourselves and what we bring to a relationship, it becomes  more likely that when do enter a committed relationship it will be more successful. Trial and error in dating is natural even if it is also tiring to keep coming up short (no pun intended).

Being single is the opportunity to mingle with different types of men (or women if that's your thing), flirt to your hearts desire, or just party like every day is New Years Eve. Being single over 30 is no longer a mark of shame that it once was. Women are currently more progressive than any other time in history so it is past time that we look at pursuing relationships the same way.

Are Hoes Really Winning?

Bad Girls Club logo

Hoes stay winning lately. It seems that they are getting endorsement deals, their faces are plastered all over television, and they are even picking up the most eligible bachelors in the process. It seems as though the ass shakers and semen buckets have taken over the world. This is what the media wants young girls to believe, that the raunchier you are the more desirable you become, but we are here to tell you to please don't fall for the hype.

To be clear, considering a woman a  hoe is subjective to one's own moral codes, but universally this does not equate to be just being sexually active but more specifically how many partners one has entertained and how many at a given point in time. The phrase hoe can be hurtful but let us be honest by acknowledging that there are plenty who embrace it. These are usually the ones who believe that Basketball Wives or Bad Girls Club are representative of real women and think that 2 Chainz's lyrics are a legitimate source for what kind of woman a man really wants for his significant other. Double standards do exist in the 21st century as far as women are portrayed and we are still held to standards that our male counterparts are not subjected to.

Urban Prep Academy

Culturally our young ones are being set up for failure when they are offered simple images that are representative of a minimal portion of society. This goes for males also who rarely see hard working, blue collar men that actually take pride in going to work everyday and who could care less about wristwatches or fast cars. Our boys are being misled to worship materialism and earning a quick buck over having pride for oneself. For decades black males have suffered due to many factors including lack of opportunities, distribution of resources, lack of education but to me the most severe setback takes place mentally when we as a community do not advocate for self worth or self respect.

The belief that hoes be winning is a false conception and in the great words of Public Enemy, "Don't believe the hype!"

How to Get Rid of a Bug-A-Boo?

                  *WARNING* This post is all in fun and not meant to be taken seriously!

We have all been there. The time you regret giving that certain someone your number or email address due to their constant messaging or calls at random times of the day. They stalk your Facebook and Twitter pages or call at the most inappropriate times of the day.  Like dude, I'm at work so I'm sorry that we can't carry on a conversation at 9 o'clock in the morning while my boss is less than three feet away. They continue the pursuit and are oblivious to your hints of disinterest. Not all of us have the conniption to tell them off even though we may just want to yell "Stop calling my f**cking phone!" Worry not. Below are some tips on how to rid yourself of the pesky Bug-a-boo while doing the best we can to avoid hurting feelings in the process. 

Be Upfront

Oftentimes we make things much harder than they need to be by prolonging the inevitable or over thinking the situation. Be concise and tell them straight up that you are not into them that way. 

Avoid the "we are better friends" talk because this may leave the door open and lead to false hope that one day it may  become more. 

Hit the Ignore Button

This can be a little rude but most people get the hint of when someone is avoiding them when they are sent straight to voicemail a couple of times. 

Don't respond to any emails or messages even with short answers. This way you can have proof that you avoided contact when you seek that restraining order.

Unfortunately this method is not guaranteed to work but give it a try anyway. 

Tell a Little White Lie

Generally liars never prosper but when you are faced with unquenchable thirst you just may have to resort to the little white lie. Make up a fake significant other or have your cousin pretend to be your jealous mate. 

This is sneaky and a bit underhanded but you've reached you point of pisstivity with this nag. Some people only respond to this type of thing though they may hate you in the end.

Block That Ass!

Fortunately most mediums of contact have ways to block bug a boos from contacting you. Use this method as soon as possible to avoid any further aggravation. 


Use your best judgement when it comes to who you are dealing with because some are much thirstier than others and refuse to give up without at least calling your phone private a couple of times. Stick to your guns and soon or later it should pay off.

Leave suggestions on how you dealt with a bug a boo in the past in the comment section and be sure to like A Soul Sistah's Life Blog on Facebook!