Is Age Really Just a Number?

Fresh off my 30th birthday celebration, I was faced with a variety of comments that ranged from "You look good for your age." or "You don't look like you're 30." Like WTF!! I was not aware that someone could tell someone's age because they looked a certain way. Like most reasonable people, I believe that age is more so an identifying trait than reflective of my personality or who I would like to think I am.

More times than not, remarks such as these came from female friends or acquaintances which leads me to believe that many of us have drunk the kool-aid when it comes to the desirability of women in respect to our ages. The myth that younger women are better, somehow more attractive has really been embedded in our culture and more so into our own psyches.  Does leaving my twenties behind mean that I have to change my behavior or only wear certain outfits? Is getting older something that I should be scared of even though not one of us can avoid it?

To call a woman old may be considered one of the greatest insults but my question is why does age even matter? It is a process that every living creature must endure yet women take the most flack when it comes to aging.  Evidence of this can be found in the diet or skin care commercials we see, the large droves of women using surgical enhancements or pumping their faces with foreign toxins to acheive a more youthful appearance. I have yet to see one person go under the knife come out looking better than they were before.  If we choose to focus on healthy living and taking care of oneself from the inside out we will not only be happier but also naturally fend off the aging process.

Working with a young woman who has dreams of being an artist, she brought up how many of her family members thinks that she is too old to attempt a run at her dreams now.  She is only 32 years old!  Most people do not reach the pinnacle of their success until well into middle age irregardless of their profession, race, or sex but when it comes to black women we are expected to have reached all of our goals, be married or settled, and behave like Mother Theresa by the age of 35.

 It is hard to believe that in 2013 that many people equate getting older as something that is looked down upon or that you suddenly lost all zest for life because you have reached a specific age. I for one could not disagree more with this concept.

Meet Bridget Kelly: Taking Over R&B

Man oh man has R&B surely been blessed with an influx of unique and talented ladies taking the helm of a genre that was slowly becoming so infused with Hip Hop that it was beginning to disappear into oblivion. Thanks to the likes of Elle Varner, Janelle Monae, Ledisi and many others the genre is on its way back to the glory it once claimed. In comes beautiful, long time songwriter and artist Bridget Kelly, whose single "Special Delivery" is reminiscent of the golden era of soul music and steadily making its mark on urban radio.

Ms. Kelly could easily pass as another beautiful songstress but the the power and conviction of her voice and the lyrics of her music separate her from others that claim the same title. Born and raised in New York City, the graduate of the famous LaGuardia High School of Performing Arts credits her love of music to her parents who were both avid music lovers and performers. Now signed to Roc Nation, Kelly is hoping to storm the industry by reintroducing unequivocal music performance with the release of her upcoming album that will feature productions by the six time Grammy nominated Frank Ocean, James Fauntleroy, and Ryan Leslie to name a few.

Being backed by Jay-Z's Roc Nation may prove to be a blessing or a curse for Ms. Kelly with the latter being our worst fear. While the label is known for its avid artist development, some of their artists seem like regurgitation of others (Rita Ora reminds me of Rhianna) which often does not sit well with active music listeners. Though nothing is new under the sun, Kelly seems to offer a touch of nostalgia with a hint of 2012 freshness.

To learn more about Bridget Kelly you can visit www.bridgetkelly.com

Why Katt Williams' Breakdown Matters.

Thanks to the prevalence of video surveillance and the rapid transfer of information on social media sites like Twitter or Facebook, we all have front row seats to the gradual demise of beloved comedian and entertainer Katt Williams.  As tales of Williams' erratic and violent behavior become everyday occurrences  laughing at him becomes easy as the one who once told the jokes has now become the "joke".  While others may be able to find delight in another's ills, Katt Willliams' behavior is quite sad and deserves consideration from those who have supported him over the span of his once thriving career.

Speculation of the cause of outbursts have been attributed to drug abuse and from the looks of recent photos/videos showing a haggard looking Katt, that conclusion can easily be drawn simply on appearances alone. Looking pass the superficial, one can simply see that this bad place he is in stems  from something much deeper emotionally and/or mentally which must be addressed to save this man's life much less his declining career. The lack of mental health awareness and treatment in the African American community affects much more than the individual and the stigma attached to having mental or emotional issues have only served to worsen the wound. It is simple to dismiss Katt Williams as crazy or "bout that life" when we only see snippets of his actions. Stepping back to look at the whole picture will reveal that what we are privy to witnessing is only a tiny piece of an entire collage.

It is likely that what Katt is facing (career stoppage, possible incarceration, financial loss) began long before he became a popular comedian and that left unacknowledged has snowballed into a gradual breakdown while in the judgmental eyes of public opinion. As funny as he is, Katt can not laugh his way out of the trouble his actions has put him in and he must do a thorough self reflection to have an inkling of hope of returning to his former self. Hopefully through his resources, Katt will find the help that he needs before he reaches that "dark" place but only time will tell.

Do your think that Katt Williams comedic career can recover from his latest behavior?

Is Marriage Still Important?

Whewww!! What a Thanksgiving break. Even with an entire week off from work, I still feel like I need a vacation after having such a hectic holiday break. With my return to the cyber world after neglecting my MacBook for almost ten days, I was greeted by a question from a male friend about marriage or more specifically, do women still consider marriage to be a priority? Of course the question is too broad and no one can possibly answer for all women but it did get my wheels turning considering I am knocking on thirty's door (which is the imaginary cut off date for single women)!

Marriage can be a beautiful union when both parties are fully committed to its success however, the value of being truly committed to one person seems non existent especially when significant others are seen and treated as disposable. I personally have not seen many successful or loving marriages growing up which may likely skew my opinion of it. It may not appeal to me at this current point in my life but of course like most people I would love to have the companionship and support that would come from a marrying a compatible partner but I am not foolish enough to believe that marriage can survive off of the love fumes alone

.  Depending on who you ask, the most significant part of marriage is the financial component of it. Simply put spouses get benefits that single people don't including health insurance and countless others. There may be some validity to this reasoning considering that the top reason for the dissolve of marriages are based on finances or like Kanye said "She ain't messing with no broke ni**a". Nothing can break a loving family apart quicker than having to endure the struggles of financial hardships.

As a single woman who has never been married, I am certainly not qualified to give advice on what makes a marriage work. But to answer his question, marriage it is not a top priority on my list of things to accomplish in life but that does not mean that I am against it. I have just become content with that if it is meant for me it will be.

Do you think that marriage is an important milestone?

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